


Maybe I'm Not a Freak

by Katness2019



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adrian Mellon Lives, Adrian Mellon is a Dork, Derry (Stephen King) is Terrible, Don Hagarty Still Loves Him Tho, Gay Richie Tozier, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, The Kissing Bridge (IT), it chapter one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22308928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katness2019/pseuds/Katness2019
Summary: Richie Tozier runs into Adrian Mellon and Don Hagarty at The Kissing Bridge.(I'm not good at descriptions. It's Better than it sounds)
Relationships: Don Hagarty/Adrian Mellon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier (mentioned)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 163





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I know TEchincallllly Adrian and Don are younger, but I really wanted young baby Richie to know he wasn't alone???????? So just pretend for the sake of the story.

Richie Tozier was riding his bike, trying to pace himself. He would normally try to run with the gusts of winds that flew through the small town, to avoid Bowers and his goons. However, he had a long way to his house yet and didn’t want his legs to be sore. Trashmouth was late, his mother was probably worried. God, he felt awful already. He could simply imagine coming home to find his mother in tears; the two had the same fear. Richie going missing. His father probably wasn’t worried. He never was. Although Wentworth Tozier was probably going to give his son a glare and a scowl as he comforted his sobbing wife.

The only reason Richie happened to be speeding down to the kissing bridge was that he had dropped off all of his friends, and then stayed at the Aladdin for a bit too long.   
As a furious gust of wind, screamed into his ear, he glanced at the bruised sky and saw a single diamond flickering. Richie sped up on his bike, subconsciously, pressing so hard on the pedals they might snap, avoiding the bike they once were attached to like the plague. As Richie finally reached the infamous kissing bridge, he slowed. Of course, he knew the bridge of Derry was known for just meaningless frenching and carving initial that would be forgotten in years to come. However, Richie found the spot romantic especially at night, where he’d often visit. To see the sky, colors of a deep, rich blue and a regal purple with shimmering diamonds splattered over the canvas of the sky. He loved to admire the luminous moon that shined over the usually murky waters that hid below the wooden bridge. As Richie slowly drove to over the kissing bridge he noticed a couple who, like him, found the area romantic. They were holding hands and one was leaning on the railing of the bridge, the other sitting on top. They looked like they were having a blast, they both wore large grins on their faces and the one sitting on the railing was constantly giggling. But that wasn’t the most interesting part.

They were gay.

Richie stopped his bike, lost in the thoughts spinning in his head. They were like him. In Derry. Derry might as well be the most homophobic town in the universe. There were others, like him. And he knew he shouldn’t have had this thought, but for a second Richie Tozier thought, _Maybe I’m not a freak_ . _Maybe I’m normal like everyone else…_

“Adrian,” One of the men whispered to his boyfriend, Adrian. He stared at Richie, and he gazed right back at them. Their identical eyes were...identical. Both were stretched to the size of saucer plates and both were dark brown, and both were scared. 

Richie had known why the man was scared, he’d be scared too. Richie glanced at the blonde man who looked terrified aswell. He took a shaky breath and slid off the railing of the bridge, and Richie couldn’t help but notice the quickening breaths.  
Eddie.

Richie took a step back and nearly fell, but caught himself before tumbling into the icy waters. The silence was painful. All that was heard was Adrian’s hurried breathing and whispers of the breezes.

“You-..I,” Richie paused. He had to think about this, he really didn’t want to scare the couple further. After all, they’d probably been through enough. His eyes bounced back and forth from the pairs of horrified eyes, “Do you need an inhaler? I have spare for an emergency, I mean they’re cheap bu-”

The brown-eyed man snapped out of his terror-stricken panic and fumbled in his pocket for an inhaler. As he handed it to Adrian and placed a free hand on the blonde’s back he glanced Richie.

After a few seconds, Adrian had been restored and fully capable of breathing, but his boyfriend was still rubbing his back for comfort. The couple had seemed to forget the child was there.

“You’re gay.”

Way to go Richie.

The other man, who Richie now realized was wearing makeup took in a deep breath, “Yes we are, and you can’t stop us. Yo-”

“Don!”

Richie’s eyes flickered to the man, who looked livid, but Richie would swear on his life: there was a petrified glimmer within.

“I...you guys are fine with..being gay,” Richie hesitated. Normally he would have tried to appeal funnier or nicer ever, but his heart at lept into his throat.

Adrian seemed to calm down slightly, he was less tense that’s for sure, “...Yes, we are, we have no reason not to be.”

“But..” Richie’s eyebrows furrowed, “In...in the bible it says it’s not allowed..and...everyone does.”

Don raised an eyebrow and somehow Richie could see he was appearing less like a villain in their eyes. 

“We aren’t Christian and last time I checked we have freedom of religion,” Don gave a small smile, but this didn’t seem okay. Richie noticed the blonde inhale hastily, still somewhat freaked out by….a child in a floral shirt riding a bike.

But Richie supposed what Don said was right, but he’d never met one of his own and he had questions, “I-”

He began but was quickly stopped by Adrian’s whimper, “Please leave us be, we don’t want to deal with your insult right now. Please.”

Oh right. Richie had forgotten to actually tell them But was it really that easy. How could he even trust these people? What if they weren’t actually gay, but pretending yo be gay to see if Riche was gay and then they’d tell the entire town and then everyone would hate him even Eddie and what would-

“I like boys.”

Richie jumped back from his own voice. Oh..oh god. Richie felt his heart drop to the ground, a blanket of fear surrounding his body like smoke. He felt tears sting his eyes, but he knew if he were to let them drop, he’d never forgive himself.

Both boys seemed to calm down though, the roles had reversed

Richie hadn’t noticed how cold he was until now, or perhaps he was hot. He couldn’t tell. Oh hell! Why was he thinking about the weather in a dire situation like this?!

“Kid, you all right,” A voice, most likely belonging to Don questioned.

Richie blinked and nodded.

He stared at the two blankly.

“Are you going...are you going to tell anyone?” Richie fretted.

Adrian offered a warm smile to the kid, “Of course not.”

“...can I ask questions?”

Don shrugged, “I’ll need to know some things first.”

Richie nodded.

“What’s your name?”

“Stanley Uris.”

“Real name.”

Richie’s eyes shot down to his feet, “Richie.”

Don nodded, confirming that he heard the ashamed murmur of the child standing before him.

Richie felt his arms begin to shake as a whispering breeze danced by. He took a large swallow before looking up at Don and Adrian.

“Oka-”

Don’s voice was cut off by Adrian’s squeal, “Wait! We’re your gay mentors!”

Don scoffed and folded his arms across his flamboyant shirt, he rolled his dark eyes. As Richie noticed the man’s annoying stance, he saw a striking resemblance to himself. Richie who, when Eddie was rambling on about all the ways the Losers could get sick and what sicknesses they could get, would wear the same irritated, yet loving pose. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Adrian’s breath hitch in excitement, “Instead of your senseis, we’re your sensgays!”

Richie looked back at Don who was wearing a small smile. “It’s not his best work.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Adrian waved goodbye as Richie hopped on his bike and glided away. The three had been meeting up for a bit, a total of 4 gatherings in total. If Adrian was being entirely honest it had felt like he and Don had a gay son together. Richie had spilled his heart out to his sensgays, telling them all about an asthmatic boy named Eddie who thought butterflies carried hundreds of diseases. Adrian spun to see Don looking at the shimmering waters of Derry. He couldn’t help but notice a thin smile on his face.

“It’s nice to have a son, huh Don?” Adrian questions, investigating the liquid beneath them.

Don paused, his smile had now faded and been replaced with a frown. It was so typical of Adrian to adopt lovesick middle-schoolers. However, Don would have been lying if he hadn’t felt somewhat responsible for Richie. It was up to them to help shape the young gay minds of Derry.

“He is  _ not _ our son,” Don scolded his boyfriend who was throwing sticks into the water.

Adrian rolled his eyes watching the ripples spread through the water until it hit the reflection of the moon. He looked at his boyfriend and pulled a gloved hand from his pocket out.

Don glanced at the hand suspiciously, but still intertwined his fingers with Adrian’s, “Why do you wear gloves, it’s August?”

Adrian smiled pulling Don away from the wooden bridge, “It gets cold at night...do you think we should try to find this Eddie boy?”

“Adri...are you suggesting we kidnap an infant?” Don gasped incredulously.

“Nooot exactly,” Adrian defended, his free hand flying through the air as he made gestures, “I’m just saying we  _ find _ him.”

“And then?”

“Force him to go out with our son.”

Don pulled his hand from Adrian with a glare and pointed a finger like a mother scolding a child, “Richie is not our son.”

“How could you say that?” Adrian tsked, “He takes after you.”

Adrian saw a smile flicker on Don’s face before a scowl replaced it, “If so, then god have mercy on his soul.”

* * *

Eddie kicked a pebble that rested on a wooden plank of The Kissing Bridge. He wiped a tear that was rolling down his cheek, following the others.

He had gotten in a fight with his mother about the placebos. He felt a guilty ache in his chest as he imagined his mother at home sobbing about Eddie running away. Of course, Eddie wasn’t going to run away, he just needed some freedom from his overbearing mother. Although maybe Sonia deserved the worry, Eddie thought.

_ “Your father would be so disappointed in you.” _

Eddie shivered at the echoing words of his mother. Perhaps she was right. Afterall his mother was disappointed, why wouldn’t his father.

“Excuse me? Are you all right?”

Eddie jolted up, his eyes bouncing from the dirty bridge to see two men. One of the men had a blue flannel shirt, with matching eyes and hair the color of straw. In some ways, Eddie was reminded of Stan. However, the sight of the other man was shocking to Eddie. He wore tight clothing, a white t-shirt and a pair of sable satin pants. He also wore a crimson shade of lipstick. Eddie gasped. His mother warned him of this people..he had to take action. Goddamit he had fought a clown from Outerspace, he should be able to speak.

“I don’t want AIDS!”

The lipstick wearing man glanced at his friend with a perplexed look, but his friend wore the puzzled look. 

“I-...we..” the blonde’s eyes widened as his voice gave up.

“Are you okay?”

Eddie took a step back, his breath hitching in his throat, “I’m fine wh-”

Eddie cut himself off as the two men began having a weird conversation with their eyes with dramatic hand gestures thrown in.

After a few seconds of the blonde motioning towards Eddie, the young boy decided to take charge, “My mom told m about you guys.”

One of the men paused, “Oh? What’d she say?”

“That you spread diseases and you’re trying to stop the human existence.”

The man wore a puzzled smile, “I mean we might help a bit with overpopulation, but we don’t mean harm.”

The man knew he was getting too comfortable here in Derry. He wasn’t supposed to talk to homophobic children. Of course, his fear wasn’t of the children. No, but the children would tell adults. Adults were cruel.

However, a ravenette boy changed that for the man.

As he was lost in his thoughts he felt a sharp pain in his crotch. The man fell to the ground in pain, his hisses sounding like the draw of a knife.

“Did you just kick him in the balls?!?!?”

Eddie took another step back, his eyes widened in disbelief at his own self. The blonde ushered to the man who sat on the wood of the bridge. Eddie glanced at the man’s face which was contorted in pain.

“I am...sorry,” Eddie winced.

He did feel bad. These men were human. They had feelings and lives just like him. It was his reflexes because as he saw them stand before him he couldn’t help but think...It had come back to torment Eddie.

“Adrian, I’m fine.”

Adrian. That must have been the blonde man helping the other up.

“Honestly this was hilarious,” Adrian cooed to his boyfriend who was huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

Lipstick man finally stood up and Eddie watched in bewilderment.

“Sorry kid just wanted to see if you were all right,” He apologized with a furrowed brow.

Eddie hesitated before responding after all these were strangers. He wasn’t quite sure but they had something in common, “I got into a fight with my mom, and uh..I’m not running away...just needed air.”

Eddie studied the men who stood before him in the few seconds of silence. He noticed they were standing far away from him like he had a disease. But then again everyone said that these men had a disease, so maybe Eddie did as well.

Adriancombed his hair with his fingers so far back that his tan hand rested on the back of his head as he sucked air through his teeth. His hands then dropped, falling into his pockets; fitting like puzzles. His blue eyes glanced at Eddie hesitantly, “You wanna talk?”

“Not really,” he muttered kicking the ground with his sneakers. Normally he would’ve worn sandals, but it was somewhat frigid despite it being august. 

The three sat in silence, Adrian and Don had thought about leaving, but they didn’t want to make things too awkward. Well, more awkward than it was.

“What do you even say when...wh-”

The voice was cut by Adrian’s soft tone, “Like boys?”

Eddie’s brown eyes widened as he felt his heart stop. He maintained sturdy eye contact. He had fought an alien clown he should be able to come to terms with his sexuality. Perhaps the real reason he kicked Don because he knew he was just like him. Eddie knew how the couple felt. They felt like humans. And there was no denying the two men that stood before him had felt like they were monsters before.

Eddie thought he had a disease. A sick, incurable disease. For him to notice the gloss of a certain ravenette’s hair, or to secretly lay in bed thinking of one of his closest friends, was disturbing. But Eddie would  _ never _ admit to his feelings.

Adrian stare softened. Before it was somewhat frightening, although a lot less harsh than Don’s. Now the silvery eyes were sympathetic and kind and somewhat squinted due to a somber smile.

“I know it’s...it’s…so hard” Adrian’s voice nearly broke off at the last words, his eyes no longer tried to comfort the boy, but instead concentrated on the glistening water.

“Hard?” Eddoe puzzled.

Adrian snapped out of whatever flashback that may have happened a thin layer of gloss painted on his eyes, “Bad.”

“Bad?” Don scoffed, although he seemed worried about Adrian.

“Rough,” Adrian shivered.

Eddie nodded. He could understand why it would be so hard or well...rough. You get taught that it's wrong so you try to fix yourself but you just can’t and it’s so frustrating how unlucky you are. The boy subconsciously glanced at his wrist and saw the time on his father's old silver watch.

“I...I uh gotta go,” He said hesitantly.

Adrian and Don both gave smiles, and they wouldn’t have said anything but Don had shouted out, “Hey kid, what’s your name?”

“Eddie!”

And with that, he left.

“DOn!” Adrian gasped bouncing ever so slightly, excitement traveling through his veins.

Don’s lips thinned, an attempt to be serious, “No, we will not adopt another child.”

But this only exited the blonde more when he cheered, “You admitted Richie’s our son!”


	3. Chapter 3

Richie wiped a sweaty palm on his denim jeans with a groan as he paused in front of an oak door that he knew oh so well. He rapped his fists on the door as he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. 

It was nearly dark, despite it only being seven. The sky was fading into a darker blue and a few lights dazzled the inky sky. The trees surrounding the neighborhood were so still they looked nearly fake with not even a breeze whistling by. 

The door opened, letting a creak hiss out as Sonia Kaspbrak was revealed.

Richie frowned, usually Eddie was the one who answered the door because his snot of a mother could never bother getting up from her chair in the afternoon. Yet, there she stood with a disgusted look painted on her face. The look always seemed to be there when Richie was around. He was Sonia’s least favorite friend of Richie’s, her favorite was Stan and then Bill. She absolutely despised Mike, Bev, and Richie. Mike was...he was darker than most and Sonia was a big fat fugly pig who hadn’t realized that is wasn’t the 1700s. And she always called Bev a slut and didn’t want her Eddie hanging around girls, “especially ones who would throw themselves at just about any bloke.” But Richie could never figure out what was wrong with him; why Sonia didn’t like him. 

“Uh, hi Miss Kasbrak, can I see Eddie?” Richie asked, shifting his weight awkwardly in front of the woman.

She paused for a moment before closing the door in Richie’s face. Richie’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water at the recently closed door. He knew the whale of a woman didn’t care for him, but he never had her shut the door on him. Richie was just about to knock again to have a word with Sonia, but then he heard her muffled voice call out for her son.

Oh.

The door opened again, revealing a much more pleasant sight. Eddie. He had a scowl on his face and one of his hands were placed on his hips. He was wearing a pair of black gym shorts with a light yellow polo. His hair was a little ruffled for some reason. Perhaps he just hadn’t styled it, but Richie found it cute.

“Why hello young laddie! What are ye doing here so late?” Richie attempted with the best Irish accent he could muster.

Eddie rolled his eyes and took a step out onto the deck before shutting the door. 

“Clubhouse or Quarry?” Eddie questioned already heading down the steps.

“Mmm, Kissing Bridge?” Richie suggested jumping down the stone steps so he could catch up to the shorter boy. 

He placed his arm around Eddie’s shoulders nervously. Normally it wouldn’t have been as scary for Richie, he always does that kind of thing. Placing his arm around Eds’s shoulders or using his head as an armrest, those types of things. However, today was different. Today could change the way the tide rolls. Richie could be ruining everything he’s ever had or getting everything he’s ever wanted. He was going to tell Eddie that he was in love with him.

“You know I can’t be out after dark right?” Eddie questioned with a scowl, hesitantly glancing towards the darkening sky.

Richie nodded, “I know, but we’ll have enough time. Then I’ll take you home and maybe have some fun with your mom.”

Eddie groaned and threw Richie’s arm off his shoulders, speeding up his face, “And you’ve ruined it.”

Richie clicked his tongue, his pace matching Eddie’s now. Dammnit, he just had to make a “sleeping with your mom” joke. He felt his throat go dry and his heartbeat quicken in panic. The night had already begun and he was already fucking it up, so he could imagine how the rest of the night would be going. He would tell Eddie he was a f*ggot and then Eddie would call him disgusting and run away and then Eddie would tell the losers and all the losers would hate him and then Richie would be all alone because he’d have no friends and then what would he do?

“Rich?”

Richie snapped back into reality at the sound of Eddie’s soft voice. He looked at the shorter boy and felt his heart give out a cry. He was lucky enough to even know Eddie, he shouldn’t ruin it. But deep down Richie knew that if he didn’t confess, he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

“Sorry, I was thinking about nailing-” Richie paused as Eddie glared at him, “Stan’s mom! Not yours!”

Eddie smiled, “Nice save loser.”

“Hey!” Richie yelped out, “We’re  _ both _ losers!”

Richie smiled and his head turned forward again, no longer looking at the small boy, but instead staring at the bridge.

The Kissing Bridge is something Richie was sure he’d always remember. He’d always remember carving an R and an E into the wood as dawn was being set. He’d certainly remember meeting Don and Adrian, who he looked up to oh so much. And now he’d always remember telling the greatest boy on earth that he was in love with him. So many events had happened at the rickety, wooden bridge in Derry. And if the situation he was in went south...he’d never see it again. If Eddie and the others begin to hate him, along with the town, Richie would surely be disowned. Maybe Don and Adrian would take him in though..and they’d all move far away from all the pain.

But nobody hated him yet.

“Okay Eddie, we need to talk.”

Eddie frowned at the ravenette saying his actual name rather than Eds or Eddie Spaghetti. He’d never confess it, but he really likes being called Eds especially by Richie. 

“I...I like boys,” Richie admitted, but it was so hard. His heart had lept to his dry throat, and his large eyes that hid behind coke bottle glasses were brimmed with tears.

Eddie’s heart broke had broken at the sight. He had never seen Richie cry beside the Pennywise fiasco. He’d even seen Stan cry before, but never Richie. Yet there he was with tears threatening to fall and fear coated in them.

Eddie wanted to say something, anything to make Richie know that he was okay. That Eddie didn’t loath him. But when he tried to speak, no words fell out.

“And...and I like a certain boy..” Richie continued with a sniffle pausing him.

Eddie had to stop himself from flinching but he nodded nonetheless.

“You.”

Eddie blinked and felt a tear fall down his cheek. He hadn’t even realized the tears that had been pooling up in his eyes. Richie looked terrified and like he’d rather be anywhere else, yet no tears had fallen.

Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand that was unusually cold and he attempted to swallow but the tears distracted him, “I like you too.”

Richie didn’t hesitate, he right away pulled Eddie into a hug after hearing the words. He had been so scared before, but he was wrong. 

“Woohoo!”

Richie and Eddie pulled apart from each other in shock. Both boys knew the voice, tho Eddie couldn’t place it as well as Richie could. There before them stood two men, holding hands with larger grins stretched on their faces.

“Adrian?” Richie frowned, “Don?”

Eddie quickly wiped away tears from his eyes and cheeks. He didn’t want them to see that he had been crying.

“That was the most fucking dramatic confession ever!” Don laughed out walking out to Richie to give him a hug and a high five. 

Richie looked absolutely stunned at the sight of the men, “What are goys doing here?”

“Spying on our gay children,” Adrian replied as he went to envelop Eddie in a grand hug. 

“Oh great,” Eddie muttered, rolling his chocolate brown eyes.

Richie laughed and lightly punched his shoulder, “Come on Eds,”

“That’s not my name!”

Don placed a hand on Adrian’s waist with a small smile, “Ah, young love.”

“D’aw you big ol’ softy,” Giggled Adrian.

“Aaaand you’ve ruined it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhh... sorry if it was a bit rushed at the end??  
> STAY INSIDE!!! Remember when you stay at home, you are saving hundreds of people from COVID-19!


End file.
